Hold Regular Negativity Audits

Negative influences
Photo by Tim Gouw

What’s a negativity audit?

It’s a simple self-evaluation that when held on a regular basis can highlight negative influences in your life.

How does the audit work?

It’s simple. Just ask yourself these 3 questions:

  1. What 3 people leave me feeling the most negative after I spend time with them?
  2. What 3 songs leave me feeling the most negative after I listen to them?
  3. What three things that I’ve watched or read recently leave me feeling the most negative?

Try and answer each of these questions completely and honestly every time. The most is intentionally bolded in each of these. You may not hang around net-negative people at all, but who are “the most” negative 3 people you hang around.

I’ve found it handy to record my answers in the same place every time (either in a journal or in dropbox paper or Google Docs). That way I can look for patterns.

What are the benefits?

I’ve been able to identify and eliminate quite a few things from my life which I believe have had an outsized impact on the quality of my everyday life. One simple example was when I realized how much of a negative influence consuming the news has on me. 3 years ago I stopped watching the news altogether and I can attest to the fact that my life is better for it!

How do I know if something is negative or not?

Common negative behavior includes:

  • abuse (verbal, physical, emotional)
  • gossip
  • fault finding
  • insults
  • discrimination
  • lying
  • sabotage
  • theft

In general, negative interactions can leave you feeling:

  • fearful
  • guilty
  • sad
  • superior
  • shameful
  • depressed
  • inadequate
  • vulnerable
  • jealous
  • fat/ugly

How Often is “Regular”?

That is up to you. I generally do this once a quarter.

It’s not about me


Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

If I were to boil down everything I’ve learned over the past 10 years into a single sentence, it would be this.

It applies to multiple areas of my life:

In product design


I’ve learned that my primary role as a designer is to understand who’s using my product and what they’re trying to accomplish. To interact with them. To try and develop deep empathy for them. And then to advocate for them.

In my life

Simply put, the less I focus on my own needs and the more I focus on others, the happier I am.

At work

It’s taken a while to come to this realization, but I don’t care about titles and power. I don’t care about accumulating money. I don’t care about fame. None of these things bring me real happiness.

The things that do excite me and bring me happiness tend to revolve around: connecting with others 1:1, helping others, building tools that help improve other people lives, and striving to remain positive & optimistic (in a world that feels increasingly negative).

It’s not about me

Happiness comes as I turn my attention away from myself, and focus on others.

Avoid Bandwagon Wisdom

Bandwagon Wisdom
Strongly held, one-sided opinions on complex issues, often openly communicated with very little reason, personal research, experimentation or data to back them up.

Reason
The power of the mind to think, understand, and form judgments by a process of logic.

The problem

Bandwagon wisdom is a plague in our society. It’s unhealthy, and it appears to be growing in popularity.

Continue reading Avoid Bandwagon Wisdom

Finding Balance

Between having a young family, working a full-time job, serving at church, and side projects, my life can feel pretty hectic at times. Finding balance in life is a constant obsession of mine.

My ultimate goal is to live a boring, perfectly scheduled, monotonous life. Turns out, that’s harder than it sounds… 😛

There are 5 areas that I care about maintaining balance in:

Continue reading Finding Balance