What makes us human?

Some might say it’s our advanced intelligence and creativity. Others point to our capacity for complex emotions. But at our core we are social creatures. More than anything, I think we share a fundamental need to belong.

“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.”

Brene Brown

Across the stages of life

From our first moments, we seek the warmth and comfort of caregivers. As children, we form friendships and crave acceptance from our peers. As adults, we build relationships and join communities to stave off the loneliness. This primal drive connects us across cultures and generations.

The light and dark of it

The need to belong profoundly influences our actions. When we feel connected to others, it awakens our humanity—inspiring kindness, cooperation, and collective growth. But when access feels denied, the results can become devastating.

Unfulfilled, our longing for connection leaves us untethered. We become susceptible to isolation’s sting, the siren call of bandwagon wisdom, even the temptation to compromise our values for a sense of belonging. In pursuit of this core human need, we can lose our inner compass.

The path forward

Belonging is like food for our souls. We can all survive without it, for a while. But when we’re starved of human connection for too long, things can turn pretty bleak.

I struggled with how to wrap up this post. I don’t want to make it sound like I’ve got it all figured out. I don’t.

In a world that often prioritizes and rewards individualism and divisiveness over community and love, my hope is that we can reflect on how to nourish our innate need for belonging.

My other hope is that we can all try a little harder be more kind, more loving, and more inclusive with our words and our actions.

Our souls long to belong. Only together can we feed this fundamental human need.