I shared a post internally a while back with a few thoughts, one of which was “Automattic is not a family, it’s more like a sports team”.

I received a fair bit of feedback on the sports team analogy, and the more I’ve thought about it, the more I agree. Neither metaphor works great.

The Family Myth
Families are built on unconditional love. Companies aren’t. When work starts using family language, it can blur boundaries and create pressure to overextend yourself.

The Sports Team Myth
There’s a lot that does fit: clear goals, shared wins and losses, and the need to rely on one another. But sports teams work in fixed seasons, have narrowly defined roles, and operate at all times under a coaches watchful eye. Most companies don’t function that way. Work is more fluid, roles and responsibilities morph, and leadership can take on many different shapes. The metaphor is partially right, but it’s not a perfect fit.

What Companies Actually Are
They’re groups of people working toward shared (typically financial) objectives. You can care about your coworkers and still keep clear boundaries. Either side can move on if it stops being a good fit.

A Healthier Frame
Good workplaces respect your time, space, and well-being. The healthiest relationships at work come from clarity and professionalism, not guilt or over-identifying with the job.

The Bigger Question
How much of ourselves should we put into work? It’s perfectly natural for this to shift with time. The key is pausing occasionally to see if the balance still feels right, and adjusting when it doesn’t.